| Monday, December 29, 2003 |
| Lay Low |
I did not do very well this semester either. But I feel less disappointed because I know, this time I have tried my best and eventhough there are certain time during exams that I panicked and forgot what I've studied, at least the points I received worth my effort. Not like Spring 2003 where I enjoyed more, work more and study less. New resolution for Spring 2004: study harder, get better scores.
I feel like playing fusball and bowling. |
| posted by efarina @ 2:51 PM |
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| Yammmmsennnggggg |
This is a tribute to all the wonderful movies/series out there that I've watched for the past 20 years. I must salute the directors and the actors for these people have produced the best among the best. These are movies which I favor, which have taught me to think life differently, to stimulate my mind into a different perception about world, to make me laugh and to make me cry:
Epic/History/Classic [love, war & revenge]
- The Count of Monte Cristo (countless number that I have watch this great revenge plot)
- Helen of Troy (the story of beautiful Helen, the great warrior Archilles, and the hateful wars is simply not to be forgotten)
- Gladiator (a great warrior he is)
- The Last Samurai (no matter how far we achieve, we must never forgotten our root, our history)
- The Lord of The Rings sagas (what more can I say about this movie...everyone anticipates it)
- P.Ramlee's (I see it once, or I see it for the 50th times, I will never get bored)
- American History X (racism kills)
Horror, Scary, Suspense
- The Others (disturbing plot, an unusual one)
- Final Destination 1 (makes me think about my own fate)
- Old, scary Malay drama which I have forgotten the title but I remember Zami Ismail acting in it (I couldn't go to the bathroom when I was a child)
- Sleepy Hollow
Space Related
- Armageddon (I cried, I cried and I cried)
- Star Wars sagas
Animation/Cartoon
- Beauty & The Beast
- Anastasia
- Pink Panther (I love Pink Panther cartoons!)
Robbery, Heist Theme
- Ocean's Eleven
- The Italian Job
I do not have much interest in action-packed movies. The storyline is a cliche. |
| posted by efarina @ 2:53 AM |
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| Friday, December 26, 2003 |
| Bittersweet symphony |
Got this from a forwarded message. I thought it may be interesting to ponder this over the boring winter holiday.
Q: Are you in love right now?
A: No. I don't think I ever will.
Q: Do you prefer fast dancing or slow dancing?
A: Fast
Q: If you could remain a certain age, what would it be?
A: 16 years old coz that's when I met my wonderful friends
Q: Do you have stuffed animals in your room?
A: Urghh, no. I'm just not that kind of girl
Q: Favorite flowers?
A: I don't really like flowers either but orchid is nice
Q: Do you still watch cartoon?
A: Not really but I love Beauty & The Beast and Aladdin
Q: What toothpaste do you use?
A: I just bought a Colgate today
Q: 3 words that describe you are?
A: Loyal, unexpected, stubborn
Q: Favorite boy's name?
A: Adam
Q: Favorite girl's name?
A: Efarina
Q: Do you go skiing or snowboarding?
A: Skiing, yes. Painfully run into the ramp and bleed my lips. Snowboarding, haven't.
Q: Favorite sport(s)?
A: Basketball, field hockey
Q: What are the two most important things in your life right now?
A: Love and knowledge
Q: If I ask you to hum a song right now, what song would pop into your mind?
A: Ummm.....Suga Suga
Q: What features do you notice about a person first?
A: Men - Height, hair, eyes. Women - Lips, hair
Q: What song you could never get sick of?
A: Eminem's masterpieces
Q: If you would be invinsible for one day, what would you do?
A: Go inside Ashton Kutcher's crib
Q: Where would you like to travel one day?
A: Italy, Switzerland. If I live in the past, I would to visit Babylon & the ancient cities of Greek.
Q: Would you ever want to be taller?
A: I want to be 5'7/8"
Q: Do you make fun of people?
A: I favor to insult those I hate and make fun of funny looking people at KLCC park
Q: What's your favorite food?
A: Sambal berlada, gulai pucuk ubi
Q: If you could offer the world some advice, what would it be?
A: Life is like a game. Either you win or you lose. Play wisely. And don't do drugs.
Q: If you could be anyone in this world, who would in be?
A: Arwen from LOTR or Cleopatra
Q: What subject is challenging to you?
A: Biology & Economics
Q: Who are the most talented artists?
A: Vincent Van Gogh (his paintings are wonderful! I have his poster in my room), Leonardo da Vinci
Q: What shows did you watch when you were little?
A: Captain Planet, Transformer, Thundercat, Maskman
Q: If you could meet anyone in the world, who would it be?
A: Prophet Muhammad
Q: Are you a good girl or a bad girl?
A: I am bad but I'm not evil
Q: Have you ever had a crush on more than one guy at the same time?
A: Yeaps, it was definitely a confusing moment
Q:What perfume do you like?
A: Light Blue by D&G, Davidoff Coolwater and Mango by Escada
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| posted by efarina @ 11:46 PM |
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| Thursday, December 25, 2003 |
| Troy |
On second thought, I don't think I am gonna buy Helen of Troy DVD. I'm going to wait till next May for Troy to be released in the cinemas, watch it and if I love it, I'm gonna buy THAT DVD. Plus, the movie has better actors like Brad Pitt as Achilles, Orlando Bloom as Prince Paris and Diane Kruger as Helen! I just hope it'll be a heck-of-a-movie. I really can't wait!
Still thinking about Merlin. I feel like watching The Count of Monte Cristo again, for like, the zillion times. Or mebbe I should watch Gladiator tomorrow. Duh, duh....watsup with me and this craze over modern movies with classic settings....Probably I'm just tired with dramas and action-packed's obsolete plot. And I desire seriously disturbing horror movies too.
I'm going to sleep. Period. |
| posted by efarina @ 3:55 AM |
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| Wednesday, December 24, 2003 |
| The Trojan Horse |
I haven't been blogging for quite a while since things go pretty slow during the holiday. For the first time, I attended UW-Madison graduation ceremony and it touched my heart deeply. The ceremony was beautiful, and to see those happy faces for finally ending 4 rigorous years of undergraduate, I cannot help but think whether I can be among one of them. I will defintely go to another ceremony next semester so that I'll have the inspiration to achieve if not for the best, the better.
I completed The OC episode 1-12 in just 3 days, ain't that great? I'm really bored to death and got nothing better to do! I watched Helen of Troy on TV yesterday and today. It's a great epic story, and a moving one. I am bidding on The Odyssey now to know what happen next after the Trojan War. I am even thinkinh of hitting the library sometimes during the break to borrow The Illiad by Homer. Hmm, I have this strong urge to buy Helen of Troy and Merlin DVDs too. Think I'm a weirdo? Well, epic fascinates me! |
| posted by efarina @ 11:30 PM |
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| Friday, December 19, 2003 |
| The end, no more, nada |
The Spring semester is finally OVER! Thank God...I don't think I can handle all those pressures any longer. One lesson learnt: never take an Econs class coz I'm simply not good at reading subject no matter how easy it is(exceot for history coz it's like reading a story book). I just had the final paper this morning and I went completely blank, not knowing to answer most questions despite the fact that I stayed up all night to study. Hmmm...I just hope I won't fail the class.
I'm very hungry now, there's no more food in the fridge but I'm so lazy to go out since it's below 9 degress outside. I have no idea yet what to do during winter break. But definitely can't wait for movie marathon this Monday...woohoo!
I am wondering whether I should go to Japan or backpacking in Europe next summer. I really wanna go Japan...but the cost is pretty expensive though. Backpacking in Europe is also very tempting, provided that other people in Madison are up to it. Hmmm...well, gotta think more about it and definitely gonna start saving money.
P/S: I just transferred my photo gallery to a new database. However I haven't upload any new photos yet since Chicago trip but feel free to stop by. |
| posted by efarina @ 7:13 PM |
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| Tuesday, December 16, 2003 |
| Tigi BedHead |
Get this right...I'm a hair freak. Seriously. I get bored pretty easily. I've been changing my haircut/style ever since I was in Form 3. Layered, bob, short, long, straight cut...and the list goes on. Yeaps, up till when I went back to Malaysia in summer. I cut my hair short (it was so damn hot I felt so sticky) and I lurve it, but short hair, needless to say is hard to manage coz you look like you have a bad hair day everyday except you take good time to blow and style it. Then, I came up with this idea of hair rebonding. Hehe, THANKS to the inventor, I've been loving how my hair looks like ever since. There're bits of frizzies and brittles here and there, but hey, who doesn't? So, next resolution is keeping my hair long. Haven't done that since Form 1! Gonna keep it long like Imbruglia. Good luck girl! Pliz don't make me go to the salon again for the next 4 months.
Done with my Calculus exam. I have no idea to answer a question worth 10 points. Haih, so sad. Tomorrow's Discrete Math, the day after that is Statistics and Econs on Friday. Cross my finger and let's just hope I don't go bonkers for the next couple of days. |
| posted by efarina @ 8:15 PM |
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| Monday, December 15, 2003 |
| Medicine to Heal Your Soul |
It's time to reflect whether one cares about her circumstances.
My heart melts/cries:
(a) Seeing an old man/woman doing her own grocery alone without anyone's help
(b) Seeing an old man/woman walking in cold weather or snow alone
(c) Seeing the death of a father in a TV show or a movie. Perhaps this is bcoz I've once thought I might lose my father
(d) If my parents argue
(e) Seeing my closest friends suffer from a heartache or terrible loss
(f) At the sight of an okay-looking guy in deep passion while playing his musical instrument. It means they value music, and they show it. E.g: Rob from LP playing drums, Frankie J playing piano
(g) Whenever my mom reply my emails and say something comforting
(h) When someone loves me, says it and meant it
(i) At the sight of delicious ice cream especially Tiger Trail from Baskin Robbins
My heart bursts with anger:
(a) When someone makes false assumptions about me, and spread it around
(b) If you tell me a big fat lie without plausible reasons
(c) If someone constantly annoys me. If I say I don't want to go out with you, that means I really DON'T, so deal with rejection!
(d) If my siblings do not appreciate my parents effort or disrespect them
(e) If someone makes false assumptions about my dearest friends, and spread it around
(f) If someone think it's okay to do that to me, but it's not
(g) If someone doesn't trust me when I'm telling the truth. Talk about wardens & discipline teachers in KUSESS, they sure pissed me off.
(h) If someone smokes or watches porns in my house |
| posted by efarina @ 6:00 AM |
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| Saturday, December 13, 2003 |
| Suga Suga How You Get So Fly |
| I finally find some pretty good music for the last couple of days. E.g from: Jimmy Eat World, Limp Bizkit, Seven Nation Army, Nivea, Train, 50 Cent, Mystique. I'm tuning back to R&B and hiphop for now. Frankie J is currently my fave artiste at the moment. Try listening to "Suga Suga" Baby Bash feat Frankie J. I bet most of you guys will lurve it. I know I do. If anyone has some pretty good song suggestions, don't hesitate to drop by a message at my guestbook. Anything except jazz, country and modern-rubbish punk rock is okay with me. 3 Doors Down coming to Milwaukee & Staind coming to La Crosse in mid-January. Anyone's up to it? |
| posted by efarina @ 10:04 PM |
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| Friday, December 12, 2003 |
| Urgghhh |
| Some people are just so impossible that I wanna swear even more! Darn. Why does it always have to be your way, dammit? Pegi mampos... |
| posted by efarina @ 9:37 PM |
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| Distortion of mind, and words |
| Remember those days when you feel like swearing all the time? Today is that day for me. I didn't get the job at the library but I tried to comfort myself by saying it's not my fault. And I definitely don't blame God either. However, I DO NOT lack competency. I have working experience before. Dirck said the roster is already full, yeah so I say that's other people's fault for filling up my chance. It's too late to apply for another job now. I felt a huge disappointment though coz I thought I can make money during the winter break and maybe travel up to New York for new year celebration. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I have no idea where else to get money. Account is below 100 bucks and I still have to pay for next month's rental and bills. For heaven's sake, I really don't know how I'm gonna pay all those. No job means more free times. Means boredom coz there's nuthing much interesting stuffs to do during winter. Travel or going for a ski trip is definitely out of league since I have no money. I'll go crazy coz all left to do is watch TV and play guitar. So, f**k, bull***t, damn, b**tt*,p***m**. Whatever. |
| posted by efarina @ 1:02 PM |
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| Stuck |
One thing I noticed different about my lifestyle here in Madison with that in Malaysia is my social life is way, way low beyond par here. Why? I have NO ideal friends, no proper transportation, money constraint, and have you seen the mall? It's nothing compared to Mid Valley, or KLCC or Pyramid or Bintang Walk. And now that Berjaya Times Square is open, I bet the mall rock the world. Money constraint makes life tougher since I barely have the chance to travel to some other states. But the loss I feel most is of course, my friends. I'm a Taurean, so I have no one to blame but myself for not having much interest in developing new bond or interest with the circle of people here. Though I established good relationship with most of them, I find it hard to feel 'attached' to them. Perhaps I've been used to having the 'other' kind of life I have with my friends back in Malaysia. Those comfortable feelings I have when we talk about our darkest secrets, those times when we just agree that we have so much in common, or we just like to hang out at the clubs or the coffee parlors or at someone's house, and those times when you can just jump to them once you get into trouble without having this heavy feeling of hesitation whether to tell or not. For goodness sake, I even have extremely good relationships with some of my friends' parents that I can almost talk about anything with them. Sincerely, I was really HAPPY during summer when I went back to Malaysia. I laugh more, I talk more, I bond more, I go out more, I love more. Things got back to null when I came back to Madison. True, there are some superb opportunities here that I get here that I don't get in Malaysia such as Tony Hawk Skate Tour, snow, Halloween parade, cute white guys, a string of excellent tv series and sitcoms and total freedom but it feels less valuable coz I don't get to share it with the people I want to be with. Well, what can I say, that's just the way it is. I'm really not enjoying my young life to its fullest.
Interesting new stuffs in Malaysia that I wish I can go or watch: Distortion gig, Rock The World 4, Berjaya Times Square, Cyberjaya TV, 8TV.
Occay. here are some reasons why I think my life in Malaysia is more sociable and more adventurous:
1. Pernah hampir-hampir kena bawak pegi balai polis bcoz of false suspicion of the TTDI park guard. Owh, pernah kena tahan (for real!) dengan KLCC guard. Why? Don't ask. Stoopid reason.
2. Nearly got a tix for speeding, which means I get to drive!
3. Went clubbing a number of times, never once kena bayar (shh....my parents aren't supposed to know this) but I kinda retired from this activity now
4. New year kat Orange & Bintang Walk, merdeka at Sunway and laterz dpt hang out with Hawa's cousin, one of the BBoyz dancers. Here, no frens to celebrate new year with coz everyone is sumwhere else or doing sumthing else meaningless
5. Been to a number of gigs, namely Ammo, TTC, Too Phat, Reefa, Ferhad, Juliet the Orange, Planet Hollywood's show, Formula One Street Party
6. Bole lepak at mamak stall or Sri Hartamas or Bangsar with my friends often at odd hours
7. Dapat pergi big events like Formula One (get to sit at starting podium for free!), Anugerah Industri Muzik, Music & Poems of The World (also for free!) so dapat tgk V.E, Nicholas Saputra, Dian Sastro, Ruth Sahanaya, Zainal Abidin, etc.
8. Mid Valley, KLCC, One Utama, Bintang Walk, Pyramid, TGV, Adidas Streetball, KESUMA, Dome, Coffee Bean, Swensen's and everyone's fave RotiBoy!
9. Meet new friends yang happen to be satu kepala since they're my frens' frens, so they gotta be cool enuff as well!
10. Convoy raya! And CNY open hse at Pial's so dpt angpau from Mummy (hehe) |
| posted by efarina @ 3:29 AM |
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| Wednesday, December 10, 2003 |
| Days of Gratitude |
| Today I want to thank God, the Most Gracious the Most Merciful, for still giving me the chance to breathe in His beautiful world. Even though I may be a total failure, I am thankful that He has given me a wonderful, loving family and a circle of amazing friends that I am very fond of. I am thankful for having the chance to be here in Madison and relishing the moment when I get the chance to meet different colors of people, to feel the cold white snow, and to experience all the things I never imagine I would've done. I am thankful that even though I cannot be with the person I love, we still remain friends and to see and accept the deaths of the people I care about. I am thankful that I do not suffer from starvation and poverty, that I am able to donate to the poor and that I am able to accept the fact that nobody is perfect. But most of all, I am thankful to know that on one lucky day I may and will hopefully become a better person, and that there's a big fat chance I'll be tortured in Hell million of years but in the end I will still have the taste of Heaven. Thus, I am trying my best not to complaint for all the hurdles I face. For I am nothing but His humble servant. |
| posted by efarina @ 3:58 PM |
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| Tuesday, December 09, 2003 |
| Praise You |
Puteri wrote this in her email:
"...you are very beautiful in your own special way.. and only special person can see the beauty in your self.. and i am one of that special person... ahakzzzz...". Thanks for making my day. I wanna take this opportunity to express my gratitude and love to all my special friends that add colors to my otherwise bland life. So if any of you guys below read this, thanks, you are the best :
Puteri Rabiatudawiyah, Pial Khadilla, Nanie, Arina, Elliana, Serene, Yunni, Kakno, Hawa, Aseng, Fakhrul, Lomu |
| posted by efarina @ 12:38 AM |
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| Monday, December 08, 2003 |
| Results May Vary |
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
And no one knows
What it's like to be hated
To be faded to telling only lies
But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like i do, and i blame you!
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain woe
Can show through
No one knows what its like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes
No one know how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies
The emergence of punk rock annoys me. These days, it's hard to find great essence in English masterpieces. The punk rock music is a cliche, losing touch in their originality. Whatsup with Blink 182 and Good Charlotte and especially Simple Plan <-- this group is a definition of a total disaster. The group that popularize punk rock - Greenday - that's definition of a good music. The same thing goes for numetal as well. Linkin Park is one-heck-of-a-band that brings numetal to another level. But its successors, namely Evanescence, Trapt and some other crappy bands are just, well....plain. C'mon guys, be more interesting, be more original. In the meantime, it's better for me to tune into some rock songs, and definitely to Sean Paul..hehe.
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| posted by efarina @ 4:36 PM |
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| Sunday, December 07, 2003 |
| Unforgivable Sinner |
| I just had the wierdest dream last night. Two dreams to be exact. No wonder I woke up so late today. But arghh...I can't write the details in here, it's too personal. Damn, why do I have those dreams? Now my head's all messed up and my back is hurting like hell. I tuned into some of my favorite pieces after I woke up...and for the first time since I don't know how long, I felt like crying. Coz I'm so confused about those dreams, and about the reality of my life. I still feel like crying. Don't be surprised if I never get married. Nobody loves me. |
| posted by efarina @ 3:52 PM |
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| Friday, December 05, 2003 |
| Amnesia |
It is 6am in the morning and I am still wide awake (not studying tho!). I may be having amnesia coz lately if I don't force myself to go to sleep, I may not be sleeping at all throughout the week. However, I tend to get up quite late thus missing my 11am classes. Not that I care either. Another bad repercussions of being a CS student. I spent the whole night till 12.30am at the library dicussing CS homeworks, chatting and reading the cultural book I just got. Pretty interesting since earlier chapters mentioned about the rise of Islam. Did I mention how much I enjoy learning history? Anyways, on the way walking home from the library, it snowed lightly. For a minute, I felt like Lorelai in Gilmore Girls since she always get all excited when it snows. "Snow brings miracles", she says. Let's just hope she's right and I'll excel in my finals.
Mudd gave me his new song 2 hours ago that he just composed. Pagi-pagi buta pon still can edit song. How did he know I am still wide awake, eh? But it is a pretty nice song...I like! I asked him to write a song dedicated to me....hahaha, dream on gurl. Seriously, that guy has a bright, infinite potential to become one good musician. |
| posted by efarina @ 6:15 AM |
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| Wednesday, December 03, 2003 |
| Call me Frack |
| Pretty Nanie was online yesterday. Owh...I miss her so so much!! I haven't talk to her in ages and I didn't even have the chance to meet her when I went home during summer since she was in Sabah all the time. She told me she was getting darker and bored to death. Nyeh nyeh...Sabah is pretty darn boring I guess. I cannot wait to see her again (I wonder when..). She called me Frack, just like she always did..and I miss that too coz no one calls me Frack except for her and Linda. It is quite comforting to hear someone call you by a nickname you like. And it's pretty sad to think that all of my best friends are no longer near each other these days. I'm here stuck in Madison, while Pial and Hawa and Kakno and Aqish are happily in UK. Sayang and Linda are in Ireland. Only Nanie, Arina and Puteri are in Malaysia. This thought made me miss them even more....I lurve my chick friends coz they kick ass. Remember that Millennium party we had at Nana's house? Let's do that summore! |
| posted by efarina @ 9:21 PM |
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| Submissive Introvert Concrete Thinker |
I did a personality test today and this is what I am meant to be: ACCOUNTANT
"Like just 7% of the population you are an ACCOUNTANT (SICT)--reserved, meticulous, and dependable. While being called an accountant isn't really that cool, neither are you. You aren't exactly the life of the party, but you do have fun, and the people close to you really do love you. Seriously: accountants are good at whatever they do. They can always be trusted, especially by their friends. They almost never cheat or steal. (Some real-life accountants do, however, they are probably Judges (DICT)). You probably have a wonderful relationship with your family. "
So far from what I am doing rite now, huh? Darn. Grades are plummeting again...I hate that. I probably won't get an A for my Discrete Math. Haih...I wonder whether I'll be able to get GPA above 3.0 this semester. Bummer, bummer, bummer. Should I've followed my parents steps..and get a Degree in Accountancy instead? College is no fun.
I chat with Serene today. She's gonna do her intern on May next year. She gave the list of all companies hiring interns and there are about 300 of them! It's really exciting to see all the company lists. Surprisingly, Loreal & Positive Tone needed interns in IT/CS related field. Perhaps they need people to do research or design their web content. But whatever it is, I am really looking into it so that if I happen to want to go back for the whole summer again, I oughta apply to be an intern. Deniros, I like! Tho I may not be good at it :p.
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| posted by efarina @ 12:10 AM |
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| Tuesday, December 02, 2003 |
| Sepi |
I watched this movie- Ada Apa Dengan Cinta, along with The Recruit and 2002(HK) last Saturday nite with my housemates and I couldn't stop wishing for once, I was back in high school with my darling 16FCs. How close we were back then, just as close as these friends in the movie. And to have a crush on somebody again....and to fight with someone again over silly things...and to rush to class when the bell rings... This poem below reflects me feelings best these days.
Kulari ke hutan kemudian teriakku
Kulari ke pantai kemudian menyanyiku
Sepi..sepi..dan sendiri aku benci
Aku mau bingar..aku mau di pasar
Bosan aku dengan penat
Dan enyah saja kau pekat
Seperti berjelaga jiwa kusendiri...
..Pecahkan saja gelasnya biar ramai
Biar mengaduh sampai gaduh
Aih...ada malaikat menyulam jaring laba laba belang di tembok
Keraton putih
Kenapa tak goyangkan saja locengnya..
Biar terdera
Atau aku harus lari ke pantai
Belok ku hutan...
-Puisi Rangga: Ada Apa dengan Cinta-
I love this movie, and I shall watch it over and over again. |
| posted by efarina @ 11:20 AM |
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| Losing grip |
| Sparks and excitement exist only in the beginning. When you become obsolete and redundant, he/she will leave you. Why aren't you talking to me as often as you used to anymore? Where is that casual hi and how are you and all those craps and jokes? Why aren't we hanging out anymore just because you met someone new? Where is that card I asked you to send? Where are those moments we share our secrets with? Why must I initiate everything? Am I the only one battling to keep 'it' alive? Are you, and you, and you taking me for granted? These are questions left unanswered. And forever it will be.... as I am just another innocent but unlucky specimen of this complicated life. |
| posted by efarina @ 1:59 AM |
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| Monday, December 01, 2003 |
| Goodbye, bid me farewell |
| My life is over. My future is doomed. I am living a black life where nuthing can be any worse than this. I fought hard yet I failed. Yes, that's me - a failure. Why am I still alive? |
| posted by efarina @ 4:41 PM |
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